Thursday, June 11, 2015

Mom Guilt

The other day I was picking the boys up from school and one of the moms stopped me to introduce herself. Her daughter is in Jude's class. She said her little girl's name and that she just goes on and on about Jude and they would love to do a play date with us. I smiled and said of course, but as I walked away I quickly realized this was the first I was hearing of this little girl. Shame on me, I know every kid in George's class by name {mainly because he talks about all of them nonstop!} as well as their mom's names, but I didn't know a single kid or mom in Jude's class. And why is this little girl talking up a storm about Jude, but Jude has never uttered her name. Should he be talking more? This is when mom guilt starts to take over.

Oh it's a dangerous, slippery slope and one that I have been skating on lately. I usually feel it when it comes to Jude and get the mom guilt about the second child. You may recall I mentioned I was too lazy {and big!} to take him to the birthday party last weekend so I got a sitter. But as we approach the arrival of this third babe, I realize it's not just Jude that is getting the short end of the stick. It's all my kids. I cannot tell you the last time I actually cooked for the boys. We pretty much microwave something every night. Gross, I know, but it's survival mode. And this poor babe! When I was pregnant with George and Jude I was so diligent about what I ate and did not eat. Round three, dinner has been known to be graham crackers and Nutella. Please, no judgement. I do have to laugh that when I was pregnant with George I bought the sweetest Belly Book and filled it out religiously as well as snapped bump pics each week. Then we got pregnant with Jude, and in an effort to not give into mom guilt, I bought the same book. Sadly the bump pics were only every couple of weeks, and I only filled out the first couple of pages sharing how we found out we were pregnant. Round three I swore I would be better and ordered the same Belly Book immediately, swearing I would fill it out each week. This pregnancy would be different! Can I tell you the book is completely empty, completely! And I literally took one and only one bump shot this entire pregnancy.

You know what though, who cares! I can sit here and tally up all these "failures" and let mom guilt take over or I can look past them and recognize I am doing the best I can. Sure I flake on play dates because I am too pooped to chase {waddle} after the boys at the park, we have watched more TV in the last couple of months than we did the entire first year of George's life, and yes my kids are spending more time in their bed/crib than most because I'm exhausted and nap time might be three hours playing quietly in your bed/crib because mama needs a break. They're not crying or screaming, so why not? At the end of the day, I'm giving my kids my all and loving them the best I can, and they are doing just fine. It's comments from George telling me, "Mama, you look beautiful," as I put him to bed still in my pajamas with dirty hair and no shower or Jude letting me rock him to sleep as he holds onto me so tightly that make being a mom so worth it. And I think Baby #3 will be just fine too. I actually ate some broccoli for lunch yesterday to balance out the Nutella!

9 comments:

  1. oh i just read this at the PERFECT time!! i am having "second baby anxiety" big time today (24 weeks preggers) and wondering how this second one will fit into our lives like the first did. thanks for making me feel like i'm not the only one who feels this way!! for the record... you're doing great and your kids look happy and healthy!!

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    1. Oh congrats on babe #2! You will do great!!! And thanks for your kind words! :)

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  2. ahaha. this is AMAZING. what do i get when i win bingo? because im' pretty sure i have a card allllll filled up.

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    1. Ha! No kidding, right? How about a big glass of wine?? I'm counting down until I can enjoy one. ;)

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  3. Oh girl, the best thing about kids is they are clueless. Seriously. Does mom love me? Yup! I'm good. And they have no memories. God's so smart. I'm so excited about the upcoming arrival friend!! LK

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    1. Thanks, friend! Cannot believe this babe will be here so soon!

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