Thursday, April 18, 2013

Time for a change

Two weeks from today I will officially be a stay at home mom.  Yes, you read that right.  I officially gave my notice and am leaving my full-time job to be a full-time mom.  I have to be honest, I am not a huge fan of the term, "stay at home mom."  It just sounds so dated and not at all true to that role.  I am not sure what I would call it though.  SAHMs, what do you {we!} prefer to be called??
And if I'm really being honest {which I always try to be!}, I have to say, I'm a little nervous.  Actually, a lot nervous.  Don't get me wrong.  I am beyond thrilled for this extra time with the little man before the baby comes and ecstatic to be there for every little moment with the both of them come August.  I guess I'm just a little scared of losing my identity.  Gosh, how's that for revealing?  Is that selfish of me to say?  Again, please hear me loud and clear in saying I am oh so very grateful to be in a position to get to stay home {thank you to my hardworking hubs!}.  It's just that if you know me, you know I'm a worker.  I was always the one growing up that had three jobs each summer.  I've never not worked {forgive my double negative}.  I enjoy working and have always been very career-driven.  I was never the one to set out hoping to get married and have kids and stay home.  Yes, I wanted all that one day, but I always dreamed of my success first. 
Little did I know that "success" I was dreaming of would not come from being a wannabe Katie Couric or having a high paid job.  It seems the older I get, and more mature in my faith I am, I quickly recognize it's not about me.
I define success now by my relationship with the Lord, my marriage, my parenting and my relationship with others.  This is what truly matters.
I wholeheartedly believe that God has blessed me with this opportunity to be a mom and this is my season and my time to focus on that.
I do have to share that the most interesting thing I've found throughout preparing to leave my job for play dates and sippy cups is the reaction from various people.  Remember that scene from Sex and the City when all the girls are at brunch and Charlotte shares with them she is quitting her job at the gallery...
Let's just say I've received some similar reactions.  And oddly enough, I find myself feeling as though I have to justify my decision to these people.  I totally go into Charlotte mode rattling off all the things other than being a mom to George {as if that won't keep me fully occupied!} that I plan on doing to stay busy.  You should hear me going on and on about Junior League and church volunteer opportunities.  Luckily I have yet to claim I'm on the board for the pediatric children's wing at the hospital.  We've all seen the episode, yes?  The point is regardless of what anyone else thinks, whether they are thrilled for me {and there are plenty...didn't mean to discount all my supportive friends and family} or confused by my desire to want to stay home, it doesn't matter.  I am doing what I know is best for my family and me.  And you know what, {nerves and anxiety aside} I really am excited.  This is a new season for me, and I cannot wait to see what is in store.
One piece of advice I'm taking with me is from a friend's mom who shared it with her as she was preparing for the same transition.  She told her simply, "Stay interesting."  And that's just what I plan on doing.  Plus, who knows what may come from my time at home.  A new dream, a new venture or a new opportunity I have yet to even imagine.
But you know what, even if it is just dirty diapers and big messes, I'm okay with that.  Because being a mom to my little man and this babe on the way is truly better than any dream I ever could have imagined for myself.  I am so ready to just soak up each and every moment {even the poopy ones!}.
So, all you SAHMs out there...
Did you experience any of this?
Any advice?
Words of wisdom?


  1. Good for you! Need to find myself a print of that first pic... STORY.OF.MY.LIFE!! :) - Lauren Milbach

    1. Thanks, Lauren! That print is SO true, right? :)

  2. So happy for you! You will be a great SAHM! Hoping to learn some new ideas from you to help keep my days at home with Maddox more "interesting"! ;)

    1. Oh Beth, I'll be taking notes from you! You are the best SAHM! Now if you can just come recreate Maddox's playroom in G's room for me... ;)

  3. LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN! :) It's a big change, but an even bigger blessing. Here are a few pieces of advice from someone who just did this very thing not long ago and was also very career driven just like you (I swear, everything you wrote was my life almost 2 years ago!).

    - Give yourself some grace. There's going to be an adjustment period, but one day it will all "click" and you'll have your new routine.

    - On a truly bad day, close your eyes and remember a TRULY bad day at work.... at least you are getting to be with your son, good / bad or otherwise kind of day!

    - Look into Mother's Day Out if it's something you and your husband might be interested in. Jackson goes (2) 1/2 days a week and it's ahhhmazzing for both of us. Might especially help when babe # dos gets here?!

    - Enjoy it. Really, stop and enjoy it... the days are long and the years are short. I remind myself this constantly, like yesterday when Jackson took off his shorts and diaper and pee'd on the couch.

    Congrats on your upcoming gig!!! I have a feeling that once you get a routine set, you'll really, really love it. And you know what, worst case.... if you don't?? Nothing is permanent!! Good for you for following your heart and making a choice that you deem best for your family! God is good and He will lead you through this new season! And I wrote a novel.

    1. Darci, thank you. :) You have no idea how much your words mean to me. I am definitely going to take this advice and look forward to finding our routine. Thankful for fellow moms like you!

  4. Great post Rachel! Love your honesty and outlook on it all!! I work less than part time (like 8 hours a week! ha) so I consider myself a SAHM for the most part and I love it! I love what your friend's Mom said about "staying interesting" and you're right God is so good and he will lead you in the right direction!

  5. Thanks, Emily! So glad to know you are loving your time with your little man. We'll have to swap SAHM ideas to keep these little guys entertained. :)

  6. I stumbled upon your blog from Whitney''s great! I've been staying home for 3 years! It is a wonderful job and you will love it! There are plenty of days you will want to scream, and plenty of days you can't believe you are lucky enough to have this opportunity. On the worst of days I just think how fast it has truly gone by and before I know it they will be off to school! And stay at home - not so much. They might as well call it "Target, Gymboree, Play Group, Grocery Store, Park, Mom" because I do not feel like I'm ever home except at naps! I'm sure you will find plenty to keep busy - good luck!