Want to be a good mom?

You may have seen this graphic floating around social media on Friday. It could not have come at a better time for me. This is everything. Well, minus the "tell your mother-in-law to shut up" because my mother-in-law is amazing and I love her and this past weekend would not have happened without her.

So for the past several weeks I have been a broken record constantly repeating, "I need a break. I need a break." So much was starting to pile up on me. Little projects around the house. Never ending to-do lists. Ceremony + Fuss orders, new inventory and website updates. Plus the usual cooking, cleaning, errand running, being a wife/mom/friend etc. I was overwhelmed and was struggling to admit it and then own it. And sadly I was taking it out on B and my kids. And then one night last week in the midst of one too many rants and complaints from me, I mentioned what I would give for just 24 hours alone in my house. I went on and on about what I could get accomplished and how nice it would be to just be in my own home alone without any whining or interruptions or schedules. I realized other than a few hours here and there while the boys are at school, I have never been by myself in my house alone. And even then I still have my sweet Amos with me. So after my patient husband sat there and listened to me go on and on, he graciously offered, "Why don't I take the boys to my mom's this weekend?" I laughed and responded I didn't think I could drive all three of them by myself for seven hours to Louisiana so how in the world could he?? He simply said, "I got this." And he did. We packed the boys' stuff up Thursday night and they went to bed eagerly awaiting their boys trip in the morning and by 7:15am Friday they were backing out of our driveway. 

And there I stood waving goodbye with tears welling up in my eyes so much that I could barely see them driving away. I was so taken aback by this emotion. I was the one that so desperately wanted this time to myself and was given this gift yet suddenly was questioning it. I came inside to the silent house ready to make a cup of coffee and get into all the things I had planned on doing with all my free time. Yet all I could do was cry. And I'm talking ugly cry. I sat on my couch sobbing for a good solid twenty minutes. How silly I thought I was being, but I couldn't control it! I missed them all so much already. And I was so overcome by how amazing and selfless my husband was for recognizing my needs and going above and beyond to meet them.

I think as moms it is so hard to ever put ourselves first. We do everything for our families and always put their needs before our own. Sadly I was doing that so much that it had caught up to me and was affecting how I was as a wife and as a mom. The joy was gone, and I desperately needed a reset. And believe me, I got it! I completely cleaned out the boys' rooms and playroom. We are talking filled five trash bags, six Trader Joe's bags and two big boxes all with clothes, toys and baby stuff to take to a local nonprofit. It felt so good to start and complete that project. But don't worry, I definitely relaxed too. We are talking an hour long bath sipping prosecco followed by catching up on all my Bravo favorites. This is the stuff dreams are made of. And the best part is that the boys were having the best time too! They went fishing and played outside and got dirty like little country boys should. I sat on the front porch eagerly awaiting their arrival Sunday afternoon and couldn't wait to hug them! It wasn't ten minutes later we were out back playing and the all too familiar sounds of my boys' usual "He took my bat! He's licking my popsicle! I found a worm" were calling out, but this time my reaction was simply to smile and feel grateful. Grateful for my family and grateful for the time needed to get myself refreshed and renewed. So grateful for the opportunity my people gave me to be OK.